I want to bang my head on this piece-of-shit-Starbucks-imitation-coffee table

A young foolish idiot sitting on the couch.


V.O.


Some are born normal, others take a lifetime to get there. I’m quite sure I’m not the only one, nor the first person to sometimes wish we had a couple of lives, just like a videogame. To be able to hit that RESET button whenever we wanted. When we went through that life-changing moment and just made all the wrong fucking turns at all the right fucking times. Whenever we spoke those words that we couldn’t take back, whenever we took those life changing decision so passionate/hard-headedly… Just to end up in the corner of your room and realize that we had just fucked ourselves over. A few body blows to our soul, leaving it withered and empty, lacking some kind of real connection to its long lost childhood dreams… And the only one to blame…is you.



I guess that’s what somebody already realized that makes life so fucking special, right? The fact that we’re screwed no matter what fucked decisions we make. Am I right? No regrets…Ha! Carpe diem, YOLO, seize the moment…Well TV, Mom, Dad, interesting book/article that someone cool recommended…FUCK THE MOMENT! What a kind of chicken noodle soup for the emotionally unintelligent is that?

What if the moment doesn’t fucking seize me. Or what if I try to seize the opportunity and I fucking fail…I can’t, although so many fucking people make it look like so fucking easy. Well I’m sorry, I actually believed I was someone special. I actually fucking believed it, the Nietzschen - Krishna bullshit they feed you as a kid. “You came in on a God plane” they’d say… What kind of fucked up Indigo and Crystal Children crap did they sell every parent in America during the 80’s and 90’s? We actually grew up believing we could succeed where our parents failed. We can’t, so boo-fucking-hoo! You could’ve just told us from the start! At leat you guys could get fucked up and have a great fucking time at Studio 54. We spend half our lives trying to set straight our karmic tabs due to your fucking flaws and our too busy to make our own mistakes and create our own original way towards escapism. So once we figure out that any attempt to change our predestined-shitty-lives we are stuck facing our dreams die along with the hopes of our parents, watching them fade away while they watch you fail where they were convinced you’d succeed.

Hey, at least there is always Plan B, right? At any moment, in any way we deem fit, we can always fold, and bailout whenever we want to. Life is only another option. A game we chose to play, in hopes of succeeding. No multiple lives. No reset button. However, there’s always a bad guy at the end of every level and when you sink into our unsurprising ability to make bad decisions, scurrying to find the secret exit, that special weapon/power and just getting the shit kicked out of you by life because you didn’t play your cards well. There wont be a GAME OVER sign, but neither will there be an INSERT COIN. Although someday, I hope I do find a RESET button and find myself on an another adventure and a tattoo that says: “Nice try. Better luck this time.”


Anywho…They say life’s amazing…So heads’ up and get head! And if you can, also try and get ahead. I can only provide the same shitty insight you’ve probably thought of yourself, while masturbating in the shower after your girlfriend dumped you to go fuck a musician with a guitar and a bigger dick because you were emotionally unavailable: We can only make the best decision we can, and hope for the best. Take that for an insightful epiphany. Isn’t that like the voiceover ending of like 50 thriller, teenage coming of age / Breakfast Club-films?

(Takes a long drag of a joint)


Shit…



(Exhales)


FADE OUT